Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
