when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
