Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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