the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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