the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
