smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
