He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
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