Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
whose parrot is this?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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