In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
