In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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