Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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