if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
