My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
