If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Randomize
