I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
