when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
