YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
