So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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