Just cropdusted the office
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
