glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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