Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
