would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
