oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
