"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Randomize
