someone get that fucking seahorse.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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