I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
