I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
