It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
