I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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