Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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