wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
