She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
