Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
