I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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