im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
