The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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