like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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