yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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