So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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