when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
