She went from zero to smokin in five shots
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
