I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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