and you said cock pushups were impossible
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
