The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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