margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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