my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
