So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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