Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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