people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
