I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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