kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
