I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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