OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
